Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Funky Roses

Today, I needed to immerse myself in creativity and music in order to find balance. After an hour or so and a few Blow Pops later, Funky Roses emerged.

The perfect song to accompany my Funky Roses mood was "Don't Follow" by Alice in Chains. I love this song. It reminds me of the time in my life when I learned to let go. I was in college and had spent months grieving the loss of my dad. I was withdrawn and depressed. A friend encouraged me to go out with her and it ended up becoming an evening I will remember forever.

A group of us, sitting on the floor, drinking alcoholic beverages with our eyes closed moving to the music in our own unique ways. It was the first time in my life when I just let go of everything I had been holding on to. I felt free. I felt independent and connected. It was an amazing feeling.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself to let go and to embrace whatever emotion I'm feeling at the time. Even those feelings that are difficult and probably not be pretty. Most likely, they will be complex and messy - otherwise, I wouldn't need to remind myself.

When we do meditate and reflect on these types of feelings, interesting things can happen. We realize things about ourselves that are both scary and exciting. Hidden desires emerge and those things that are easy to bottle up bubble to the surface. We feel alive and activated. We can't ignore the complexities in life when we allow ourselves to delve into them. It's both horrible and beautiful at the same time. I love it.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Easter Reflections

Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve,
and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Matthew 20: 28

It's easy not to get caught up in the commercialism of Easter when you don't have children. There are no Easter baskets or egg hunts or chocolate bunnies. There is space to meditate on the meaning of this day: sacrifice, love, pain and joy.

There is space to realize that I struggle with my Christianity. I struggle with keeping my connection with Jesus as the most important aspect of my life. It is a reminder that I must consciously and actively develop and nurture my relationship with Him. Little steps like reading scripture every day, praying with purpose and giving thanks for all of the blessings in my life.

Happy Easter!