Full Moon Reflections

It is full moon crazy at work.  I'm so busy I can't see straight.  There seems to be a lot of crises going on.  I had to call in an abuse report and was actually put on hold because "all counselors are busy".  Really?  Are there that many incidents of child abuse being reported at the same time? 

I have a million yellow post-it notes stuck to my desk, various folders, my monitor, on my bulletin board and my phone.  I even have post-it notes stuck inside folders.  Today, when I opened a folder to look for something, I came across a note I wrote last week.  It had a kid's name on it with "mom was killed" written underneath.  Oh, yeah.  I heard about this poor child and thought that I would try to help her.  I had completely forgotten.

This sort of shook me to the core.  How did I get so busy that abuse reports and working with children of murdered parents seems normal?  I can't help everyone.  Even though I try, I know this.  Is it possible to fix all the wrong in this world?  How are these kids going to make it?  I have built the necessary professional walls that allow me to do my job without taking in too much of other people's stuff but at what cost? 

Sometimes, life is completely intense and it is really difficult to accept all of the bad in the world.  We have to, though.  This is life and we'll go crazy if we don't.  It's just hard.  I thought of a verse that helps me keep things in perspective.  This verse reminds me that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. 

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, whom raises the dead. 

 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again.
2 Corinthians 1: 9-10

Funny Story Monday

I thought that I would start something new.  I don't really have a signature blogging day so I figured that I would just make one up.  I have a funny story to tell about today and it dawned on me that I could do this every Monday.  Who doesn't need to laugh on a Monday of all days?  We'll see how long it lasts.  Today's story:

I work for a mentoring organization and I was matching a kid with a mentor today.  When I asked him what were some things that he wants to do with her, he shared that he would like to play outside and learn soccer.  This was a pretty normal response.

But when I asked him what some indoor activities were that he'd like to do with her, he cocked his head to the side and made a deep thinking face.  Then, with a lot of excitement and enthusiasm, he said "I could run down the hallway and scream 'The British are coming. The British are coming.' Just like Paul Revere."  Hmm.  I can honestly say that I never would have thought of this.

Happy Monday!

Starting Over

There are phases with anything in life:  relationships, new projects, careers, life transitions, health, creativity, families.  I've been in a down phase lately.  I haven't been cognizant about my eating or tracking my nutritional intake.  I am so exhausted when I get home from work that I don't feel like exercising.  In the evenings, it has been way too easy to choose watching movies and drinking wine over walking and doing something productive.  Also, I haven't been in the mood to write or practice photography.  I sort of lost my urge for creativity and I guess I just really needed a break.  What bothers me the most is that I have not made time for God in a while.  You know, that special one-on-one time.  I'm not sure why I've been in this phase and I don't want to analyze the reasons or dwell upon my feelings of laziness and need to escape.  I just want to start over.

This isn't my photo.  It just really captured how I'm feeling.

One way I start over is to mentally prepare for a new journey.  I envision the big picture:  my favorite dress hanging in my closet that I will wear again one day (without Spanx), my book that I will hold in my hands and admire the beautiful cover that I've already created in my mind, seeing my photography hanging on the walls of a funky art gallery, the child that I hope to raise with my husband, being so confident in my faith that I can actually voice how amazing God is to other people.  I think of all the things I want to do with my life and I get so excited that I just cannot sit still.   

Another way I start over is by creating an environment which is conducive to creativity, intentionality and positive energy.  When my home is perfectly cleaned and organized, my mind is free from clutter and open to new adventures.  I'm not thinking about the closet that could use organizing or the carpet that needs cleaning because I've recently completed a thorough house cleaning.  Now, I can lay my yoga mat down at any point during the day and take a few moments to connect with myself, God and the many blessings in my life without worrying about things that need to be done around the house. 

The last way I start over is by jumping into action:  I just do the things I want to do.  For example, I'm writing right now.  I just did the dishes from the night before so my kitchen is clean.  It is beautiful out today so I will be going for a walk after I practice yoga.  I've started tracking my nutritional content with My Fitness Pal again.  My stationary bike is ready for its next journey.  God is waiting for me.  Thankfully, he understands my down phases.  I've started working on my photography again and, for the very first time, am working from raw photos.  This is a new concept to me and I'm a little intimidated but I'm also very ready to take my art to the next level.  I will be using the 2013 A to Z Challenge to jump start the next stage of my art so that I am incorporating intentionality, technical aspects, creativity and authenticity in my photography.

I don't want to feel guilty about my down phase.  I want to embrace it and use it as a catalyst for change.  These moments remind me of what is important in life and what kind of person I want to be.  Even if I can't be her 24 hours a day, I will continue trying until I take my last breath. 

Cheers to starting over.

10 Things I Don't Like

1. Movies where Bruce Willis is killed off.
2. The Beatles. Go ahead and hate me. I can't help it.
3. High heels.
4. Red lipstick or nail polish.
5. White wine.
6. Tap water.
7. Watching sports.
8. Skinny jeans. Especially on men.
9. Disco music.
10. Ironing.