This and That and Bike Week

It's an amazing Sunday afternoon here in central Florida. Beautiful. The weather is perfect - sunny, a blue sky, a small enough chill in the air that you can wear a groovy scarf and it rained yesterday so everything is extra green.

I started monitoring my food and exercise. It's not the D word that most women loathe - it's just eating healthier and being cognizant about exercising. I didn't stay within my goal twice this week but that's okay because it's only my first week. I'm using My Fitness Pal to track food and exercise. I love this because it's easy and it's free. It just takes planning and I love the kind of awareness that comes with really looking at the nutritional content of foods.

I can't believe that tonight is the season finale of the Walking Dead. This is the first season that I've watched in real time because I hadn't had cable in so long. Thank goodness for TV on DVD and season marathons. I really hope that none of the main characters die off. Especially Daryl.

I slept in this morning. Really slept in. I've only been awake for an hour and it's 12:41 p.m. My day includes lots of cleaning, a walk around a lake, 30 minutes on my stationary bike and giving my dog a bath. I love cleaning and now that I know I burn 243 calories an hour, it's even better!

I am not participating in the A to Z Challenge this year. I had the past two years and really enjoyed it. I just don't have it in me this year. I am still adjusting to my new job and the move. My creativity has been off balance. I just started getting back into photography again after a few months. Writing is still on hold. Here are a few new photos from a spontaneous trip to Daytona Beach during Bike Week. I love Bike Week - if you're observant enough, you can see life and humanity and beauty all around you.

assertiveness



embrace
 



flames

I Guess I Needed a Break

Geez. I guess that I really needed a break from blogging. I don't have a funny story today because I just don't feel all that funny. Here's a few random thoughts, though:

• It's open enrollment time and our insurance guy came to talk with us at work. As he was discussing health care reform, I couldn't stop thinking about the Thought Police and Big Brother. I'm considering Australia for a new place to live. Maybe Panama.
• I had forgotten how much I absolutely love perogies. Yum. I ate some the other night and wouldn't dare look at the nutritional content. I ate some more tonight and was very ecstatic to find out that they are extremely low in fat. Perfect.
• I'm in this Clint Eastwood phase and was completely excited to find out that there are five Dirty Harry movies. I thought that there were only four. Dead Pool and a collection of Clint's Western films recently became new additions to my household. I love how he makes a .44 magnum look like a .22 pistol.
• An acquaintance of ours was complaining about some people he knew. He kept saying that he thought they were stupid for having a baby so late in life. The woman is only two years older than I am. I felt like slapping him and telling him to shut the hell up. 36 is not that old.
• I am filled with both comfort and loss every time I watch an episode of the Golden Girls. I love this show. It's my favorite TV show of all time. I just cannot believe that Betty White is the only one left. What happens when everything we know is gone? Do we replace the things we once loved or do we just savor their memories?
• My husband stopped eating watermelon because, for some odd reason, it affects his asthma. So, I've eaten two large watermelons all by myself in just two weeks. I never thought that I would say I've had enough watermelon but I'm pretty close.
• How do you know that summer has arrived in Florida? When you walk outside and your glasses fog up.

Work That Makes You Cry

I was at a training today and it was tough. The entire day was centered around child safety.  We heard stories from child sexual abuse survivors as well as those who have molested.  I'm thankful that the lights were out when we were watching certain videos because I couldn't help to cry.

Why are there so many bad people in the world?  I just don't understand it.

Participating in this training makes me want to change jobs.  I want to work in an office or a coffee shop or at a campground.  It is so difficult being responsible for child safety.  There is so much evil out there - it terrifies me.  It really, really scares me.

I listened to one individual talk about how he had molested over 100 children.  He showed no remorse.  I wanted to kill him. 

Just as I was questioning my work, the presenter told our group that for every trained professional, ten children become safer.  So, because of the 30 people who were trained to screen and identify potential child molesters, 300 children are in safer situations.  This made me feel better.  This reminded me of why I deal with the difficult stuff.  It's for the kids.  Thank God for those of us who have the strength to stick around for a little while in this field. 

I still wish that abuse wasn't a part of this world.  I wish that no one ever had endure it.  I wish that children were always safe, always loved and always put first.  God, please help those of us in these roles stay intuitive, attentive, open, sane, compassionate and intentional. 

Xenodocheionology

xen·o·do·chei·on·ol·o·gy

noun \ˌzenədəˌkīəˈnäləjē\

 

: the lore of hotels and inns

The Sofia Hotel

In my other life, I would own a hotel.  I love them.  Nice ones.  Not the ones that are grungy and so dirty you can't walk around barefoot.  I love really nice hotels.  I never stayed at the Sofia Hotel in San Diego but I did have coffee in their lobby during my lunch break when I had jury duty.  It was great.

One of my favorite hotel memories is when my husband and I stayed at the Le Merigot in Santa Monica.  We walked into the hotel, on a red carpet and the door man (who was wearing a long-tailed tuxedo and top hat) opened the door for us and our scruffy dog, Floyd.  Floyd walked into that hotel like he owned it.  People stared but we didn't care.  Our dog deserves the best.  If you are ever in Santa Monica, I would highly recommend this hotel.

When I was living in California my husband tried talking me into going to Vegas but I just didn't want to go.  Nothing about the place appealed to me.  In the 2007 firestorm, we were sort of forced to evacuate San Diego because the air quality was so bad.  We drove east and ended up in Las Vegas. 

It was not what I expected.  I had a blast and I think the main reason was because I spent 10 hours going in and out of really amazing hotels.  I love everything about them:  the vacation-like feel you get as soon as you walk in, the beautiful furniture and art, sparkling clean rooms and how everything you could ever want is in one place.    
  

*I'm participating in the 2013 A to Z Challenge. Every day in April (except for Sundays) I will be posting according to a letter of the Alphabet. To read more about my theme, click here.

Two Really Cool Things

So, two really cool things happened yesterday:

1. I found the most awesome new collar for my dog, Floyd. My husband wanted something that was camouflage and I wanted something with skulls on it. We found a camouflage collar with skulls. This might sound weird but my dog is almost 16 years old and he's losing his toughness. I figured a collar like this would help him feel young again.
2. I love the saying in Scarface when Tony comes out with a machine gun and yells, "Say hello to my little friend". I found the audio clip online and now it is my new ring tone. I love this. I laugh out loud every time I hear it. You can find it at http://www.soundboard.com/sb/scarface - it's the very first clip.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

 

A Golden Girls Moment

I love Fridays.  Absolutely love them.  When I was in college, Fridays meant that we went out and celebrated the beginning of the weekend.  Now, I just want to sit on the sofa in my hoodie, drink a Shock Top (my favorite beer) with a wedge of orange and watch a few episodes of the Golden Girls.

I have a pretty unique talent.  I can take almost any conversation or thought or experience and relate it to a Golden Girls moment.  I've seen every single episode multiple times.  I'll hear something or reflect on something that happened to me during the day and tell my husband about a time when Dorothy, Blanch, Rose or Sophia did something or said something funny.  He laughs.  I'm not sure if it is because he actually thinks I'm humorous or just a little bit crazy.

One of my favorite moments is when Dorothy and Rose are having a pretty serious conversation about how animals are dying as forests are being destroyed.  Dorothy shakes her head and says "It's a shame."  Rose replies, "You know what's a real shame?  When you sit down and your thighs squish out to twice their size.  Now that's a shame".  I agree, Rose.  I agree.

Happy Friday!

My Top 10 Favorite Movies

I love movies. They make me happy and help me escape when I need it the most. Here are my top 10 (for now):

10.The Celestine Prophecy (w/ Matthew Settle & Sarah Wayne Callies)
9.  The Burbs (w/ Tom Hanks & Carrie Fisher)
8.  Elizabethtown (w/ Orlando Bloom & Kirsten Dunst)
7.  Jake's Corner (w/ Richard Tyson & Colton Rodgers)
6.  Say Anything (w/ John Cusack & Ione Skye)
5.  Tremors (w/ Kevin Bacon & Fred Ward)
4.  It's a Wonderful Life (w/ Donna Reed & James Stewart)
3.  Gone Fishin' (w/ Danny Glover & Joe Pesci)
2.  Manhattan Murder Mystery (w/ Woody Allen & Diane Keaton)
1.  Rear Window (w/ Grace Kelly & James Stewart)

I love all kinds of movies.  I love Hitchcock and Woody Allen.  I recently watched Donnie Darko for the second time and it just blows my mind as does David Lynch's Mullholland Drive.  Cafe with Jennifer Love is a beautiful movie.  I love anything with John Cusack and Molly Ringwald.  I've seen all of the Mummy, Indiana Jones & National Treasure movies - I love adventure films.  One of the newest movies out that I feel is amazing is Lawless with Tom Hardy.  I love his character, Forest. 

A Tequila Day

I don't know what kind of day you've had but my day was definitely a tequila day.  What's a tequila day you might ask?  It's a day that pretty much requires a shot of tequila in the evening.  I had mine with high-pulp orange juice (vitamin C) and it was wonderful.  I love simple indulgences.

You know you've had a tequila day when:

• You walk into a room for something and forget what it was.
• You're driving home from a meeting and realize you took a wrong turn after 15 minutes of going in the opposite direction.
• You ask your supervisor for direction regarding an adolescent who made a shank with the intention of stabbing a peer at school.
• You spend almost your entire day working on reports that determine if you'll receive funding next year.
• You go for a walk on the beach with your husband and realize you are still wearing heels.
• You remember that you haven't looked at your "to do" list in over a week.
• You can see that the kitchen needs cleaned but know, deep down inside, that it will not happen.

Have you ever had a tequila day?

Forgotten Simple Experiences

Today was a day of relaxation and chilling out.  I had totally forgotten how awesome the following experiences are:

1. Taking an afternoon nap.  I slept for about two hours under the covers, in my clothes with the cold wind blowing through my bedroom window.  It was a wonderful nap full of vivid dreams and gratefulness for actually being able to fall asleep during the day.
2. Eating breakfast without caring about the nutritional content.  My husband and I went out to a local cafe for breakfast and I ordered a side of sausage gravy for my biscuit.  It was awesome.  Really, really awesome.
3. Losing myself in a movie I really love.  I bought Breaking Dawn Part 2 today and watched the movie as well as the documentary about the making of the movie.  I might have to watch them again tomorrow.  I lose myself in these stories.  Three hours feels like 15 minutes.  I love losing track of time when savoring something very enjoyable.
4. Eating a no pressure dinner.  I made baked sweet potatoes, steamed green beans, salad and fish for dinner.  I just let everything sit on the counter and we ate when we were hungry.  Not at the same time, just on our own while my husband and I did our own thing.

Next on the list is putting the computers away, turning off the Internet, watching a ghost movie and indulging in a Carmelo bar and a glass of Cabernet.  Don't you love rediscovering simple experiences?

10 Things I Don't Like

1. Movies where Bruce Willis is killed off.
2. The Beatles. Go ahead and hate me. I can't help it.
3. High heels.
4. Red lipstick or nail polish.
5. White wine.
6. Tap water.
7. Watching sports.
8. Skinny jeans. Especially on men.
9. Disco music.
10. Ironing.

Friday Morning Reflections

I haven't really been in the mood to write or even practice photography.  I started studying digital photography because I realized that when I transitioned to a digital camera six years ago, that didn't mean I became a digital photographer.  I discovered that I was just an old school I-wish-I-still-had-a-darkroom photographer who uploads her photos on a computer instead of printing them.

After I found out that I've been saving my photos incorrectly, from the very first click of the shutter, I sort of felt like a dork and became a bit dissonant.  In regards to writing and photography, I have just needed a little break.  But, the need to be creative is seeping its way back into my life.

Here are a few random thoughts:

• I've started using an online calorie tracking site and I've learned that immediate feedback into the amount of calories, carbs, fat, sodium, protein and sugar I intake on a daily basis is very eye-opening.  Some days, I am extremely proud of myself while other days are full of self-loathing and regret.  Being 35 and trying to get fit is difficult.
• I am working three late nights this week and, though I sometimes wish I had a typical 9:00-5:00 job, it is really nice to be sitting on my sofa, drinking coffee and blogging knowing that I don't have to go into the office until noon.  This isn't too shabby.
•  My dog hasn't been feeling well.  I can tell that he's uncomfortable and I'm starting to get that anxious feeling.  I can't ignore the fact that he will be 16 in August.  This just breaks my heart.  My husband and I are giving him Benadryl, making sure his floor fan is pointed in his direction and playing Sara McLachlan (his favorite musician).  He still eats really well, loves the beach and walks up and down a flight of stairs 3 to 4 times per day and I am thankful for this.  I just pray that things are never stressful for him.  One thing I know:  I will never have another dog - losing him will create a hole in my soul that I will never be able to fill.
• I'm looking forward to the weekend.  The weather is absolutely beautiful in northeast Florida.  Recently, I found a little used bookstore - the books are all half-off the cover price and when you bring them back, you get a discount on your next purchase.  You can also check out new releases for $5 per week.  I'm so excited!  I still read paper books and haven't made the transition to electronic books.  I may one day.  I'm just not there yet.

Happy Friday!

Distractions

I find it really difficult to do nothing. As I'm sitting on my sofa, listening to music and drinking a margarita, my mind is going in a million different directions. I want to just sit and relax; however, I am very easily distracted. I've picked my laptop up four times in the past 20 minutes and I keep putting it down.

Am I distracted because I am contemplating my future or how I might make various dreams come true? Or are the distractions just excuses to keep me from being in the moment? I hate that my mind races. It's exhausting.

My stream of consciousness in the past 20 minutes has included thoughts about: decorating our new camper in a beach theme, knowing that I really need to put clothes away but not even attempting to, my dog looks so cute that I have to wake him up and give him some snuggles, I feel like reading a book but I'm not sure what I'm in the mood for, it seems like a perfect time to cut up a watermelon, I feel like creating a new website but I'm not sure what I want to do, I wonder what it is like to go on an air boat ride, I don't know what business idea to focus on, I should finish the children's book series that I started three years ago, I don't know how to move forward with my photography, we planned on having shrimp and fish for dinner but I don't feel like cooking, I feel like watching a Twilight movie but I can't ask my husband to watch again, we ran out of milk for our coffee tomorrow, I can't just sit here - what's wrong with me?

Do I have ADD? How does one truly relax when life is so short? There's too much to do. There are too many distractions in this world. How do you deal with them all?

Kids

I'm sure I have mentioned that I work with children. School started on Monday and today was my first time back since June. God, I really missed them. I work with between 60 and 80 kids and I just love them. The things the say will both break my heart and make my day.

We asked one child to tell us how he shows people he likes them and he replied, "Duh. I give them a hug". Geez, how did I not realize that. I am really excited about going back to schools tomorrow and Friday. I can't wait to see how much they've grown, how they are feeling about school, what their plans are for the school year and how we can help them be successful.

I really believe that kids are lacking positive role models. I spoke with a mom about recently moving out of town and asked how her son was feeling about having to start a new school. She responded, "I don't know. I haven't asked him". Well, maybe you should.

I'm not a parent so I can't pretend that I know what it is like. I do love the children I work with, though. I know that they crave attention, feedback, guidance, fun, honest conversation and unconditional love. I don't know the exact kind of parent I will be but I do know that I will respect my child and show genuine interest in him or her. I wish this for all of the kids I work with. I wish that they had three meals a day and weren't exposed to violence. I hope that they feel loved and cared for. I strive to teach them leadership skills and to find their innate strengths.

Prayer:  Please, God, take care of the kids I work with. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of their lives. Help them feel loved and appreciated. Give them strength to make good choices; especially, in difficult situations. Remind them that there are people who care for them and that we will do everything in our power to see that they reach their full potential.

Just Breathe

Sometimes, I have to remind myself to breathe. The past couple of weeks have been one of those times in my life. There has been so much going on and today is the first day in a long time that I can actually just relax at home and have no agenda to attend to.

A few months ago I realized that my life was at a crossroads and that something needed to change. I wasn't really sure what that change would be so I tried figuring it out by myself. I couldn't sleep, I was anxious, I was in my head all of the time and I felt like I was going crazy. So one morning, I just gave it all to God and let Him take control. Things started happening and a path for my life began to become clear (not perfectly clear, just clear enough that I could see where I might go). I made a decision to start making some changes, took a risk and now I'm just waiting to hear the results.

I'm not so good at waiting. I've been praying a lot. If things don't work out like I want, I've been trying to figure out why God led me down this path. I'm sure He has a plan (even if I don't know what it is). In the meantime, the waiting has been good practice in remembering to be patient. It also has allowed me to open myself to new possibilities.

Life goes on and I'm still breathing. Here are some groovy random things and reflections that have been happening:

• My friends just left and I loved spending time with them. As much as I enjoy being with friends and extended family, I just love being home with my husband and dog. My life has become so much more family-oriented in the past few years and I really love it. I have always been ambivalent about having a child. Lately, I've been thinking about it more and more. If I do, it will still be a year or two away (I've been saying this for almost 15 years) and I never thought that I'd have a baby in my late thirties. I guess there isn't anything I can do about it now. I'm already considered to be advanced maternal age, so what's another couple of years?
• The little girl I wrote about in this post, is doing well. Her surgery did not have any negative side effects and she is in good spirits. This has been very tough on her family. She is still in the hospital and has not fully recovered so please keep her in your prayers. On the last day of school, her entire school hosted a walk to raise money for her. Over 700 children and adults marched around the school field with signs they made for her, chanting how much they love her and sending her positive thoughts. It was amazing! The only reason I didn't cry is because I was one of the photographers and needed to focus on getting good shots. It was a perfect example of the power people have and the experience reminded me that there is so much compassion in this world
• I was tagged by Heather at Stretching My Wings and am so grateful. I have been meaning to do my part but haven't had the time to dedicate to it. I was going to make it a part of this post but just realized that there is quite a bit involved when being a recipient of blogging awards and I decided to write a completely separate post. . . soon.
• My husband and I just bought a bunch of veggies at our favorite local farm and today was their last day open until Thanksgiving. I couldn't help to wonder what they do with all those leftover veggies and fruit. Does the family go home and cook up a huge feast? Do they give the food to a homeless shelter? Do they can or freeze all of that goodness? I kind of wish that I would've asked.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend and the ability to savor the feeling of being home.

There's Sand in My Bra

I have friends coming into town in a few days & I really need to clean my house. I had things all planned out that today would be a huge cleaning day. However, I slept in until 12:45 (which very rarely happens) and then my husband and I spent an hour and a half at the Mission of the Nombre de Dios watching a hawk fly around and savoring the beauty of the mission grounds. I cooked lots of veggies for dinner: roasted beets, baked sweet potato fries, lemon carrots and sauteed peppers, onion & garlic. By the time we finished eating it was already 8:30. I had two choices: start cleaning or go to the beach.

I went to the beach. The full moon was like a spotlight on us while my husband, dog and I chilled on a blanket. The temperature is perfect outside and it is breezy. It is so breezy that I have sand everywhere. In my ears, on my arms and legs and, somehow, even in my bra. I love the beach. I love that all three of us feel so comfortable laying in the sand and know which way to turn so that the wind doesn't blow sand in our eyes. Sure, I have one less day of cleaning before my friend gets here but I allowed myself to embrace the moment and do what I really wanted. Though I may have to stay up late the next few nights to clean, our evening of beach therapy was well worth it.

Procrastinating with purpose,

Jaime

Listlessness is a Part of Life

This is my first post during the A to Z Challenge that I didn't write ahead of time. I thought about various topics for today's post but, to be honest, I'm tired and I'm feeling listless. One definition of this word is "characterized by lack of interest, energy or spirit".  I'm definitely lacking in energy. I considered faking my way through this and writing about Leadership or Life Lessons but I wasn't feeling either topic. My theme for the Challenge is being authentic so I decided to be honest about my listlessness. Feeling this way is a part of life. Today's post is not an insightful one but it is genuine.

Life is about embracing everything - the melancholy moments along with the happy ones. The past few days, I have been feeling extremely tired. My husband has been encouraging me to walk to the beach with him after work. This has helped in making me feel more positive but I don't have any more energy afterward. When I feel this way, I get stuck and it's difficult to move forward. I'm so used to always doing something, being productive and working hard that it feels unnatural to be this enervated. I need to regain my strength - physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. Thank God it is Friday. Weekends are always rejuvenating and I'm so looking forward to this one.

Monday's Random Thoughts

I never blog about random things.  I try to be intentional about what I write so that it relates to the title of my blog.  I feel like sharing a few random thoughts today that sort of follow-up from yesterday's post.

• The boy I mentor did awesome last week so we had pizza for lunch today!  Woohoo.  He's been doing amazing and it surprises me how much happiness I feel just because he's doing his school work and behaving appropriately.  I wish that I had a picture of him walking through school carrying that pizza box.  He was so proud of himself for being rewarded.
• We talked while we ate pizza and I told him about a dream I had last night.  There were two birds trapped in my house and I was trying to set them free.  His analysis of my dream:  "Well, it must mean that you are stressed out or it has something to do with your childhood".  He actually said this to me.  He's only nine years old.
• He loves pizza and ate four slices.  There was one left and I offered it to him.  He said, "No thanks.  Let's share it with that nice lady at the front desk".  How wonderfully sweet he is.
• Why don't I practice yoga every day?  I absolutely love it.  I feel so much better afterward.  It alleviates any back and leg pain, it stretches my entire body, relieves stress and opens me up emotionally.
• The construction going on at my office is in full swing.  It was so loud today that I tried drowning out the noise with my iPod.  I just had a combination of music and drilling in my head.  The noise is so intrusive - I actually feel different.  Out of sorts.  I've always appreciated the trade (my husband has been in the trade all his life) but I have a much deeper appreciation for those individuals who do this type of work every day. 
• I entered my first photography contest last night.  I did it just to do it.  We'll see if it goes anywhere or if I get any more passionate about it.  Maybe it will motivate me to compile a portfolio and start actively getting my photos out there. 
• I've been reading a lot of A to Z Challenge posts and I get a little anxious when I find out that people are already finished writing their 26 posts.  I feel like I'm the only person who hasn't.  I am a procrastinator and I work best under pressure.  I always have been.  I've written ten posts so far - that is huge for me.  I guess that I just need to focus on what works for me.  I do admire all those other bloggers, though.

Happy Monday.  May your week be full of wonder, humor, creativity and enjoyment.