Sometimes, you just can't put how you are feeling into words. Overwhelmed? Crunchy? Feeling the effects of the impending full moon? Lamentations 3: 22-23:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Prayer: Lord, give me the wisdom to follow the path that you choose for
me. During life transitions, help me focus on you and remember that your love
will protect me from being consumed by negativity. I will wait as long as you
want me to for the next journey you have planned for me. Thank you for new
days. Amen.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Directionally Challenged
I am directionally challenged. I'm not sure if it is genetic or something I picked up somewhere. I question my GPS when it tells me to take a certain path. Sometimes, I go the way I think that is right and then I end up lost. Other times, I follow the directions that my GPS spits out and I arrive at my destination. On time. Who knew?
I like to give my opinion regarding directions. I tell my husband when I think he's headed in the wrong direction and he just looks at me. I really do believe I am right when I give input and 98% of the time I am completely wrong. My friends and family know this. They know to ignore me when I tell them which way to go. On the rare occasions they listen to me and we end up lost, they aren't allowed to get upset. They should have known better.
Yesterday, I realized that my disability reached a new level. My husband and I took our canoe out to the Matanzas Inlet. I swear that high tide was at 7:00 p.m. and we counted on this because when we were to cross a certain channel that goes out to the ocean, the tide wouldn't be going out. Well, I somehow mixed up low tide and high tide (though I still believe the website was wrong). So, not only did we run into a bunch a sandbars but for a split second, we lost control of our canoe and I had this very realistic fear that the tide would pull us out into the ocean.
We managed to cross the channel and we beached our canoe on a huge sandbar - it was like our own private island. The sand was white and as soft as silk. We swam around the sandbar for an hour until thunder and lightening told us it was time to go home. I admit that I did get the tides mixed up but it was actually a blessing. If it were high tide, we wouldn't have found a tropical paradise created by God just for us.
I like to give my opinion regarding directions. I tell my husband when I think he's headed in the wrong direction and he just looks at me. I really do believe I am right when I give input and 98% of the time I am completely wrong. My friends and family know this. They know to ignore me when I tell them which way to go. On the rare occasions they listen to me and we end up lost, they aren't allowed to get upset. They should have known better.
Yesterday, I realized that my disability reached a new level. My husband and I took our canoe out to the Matanzas Inlet. I swear that high tide was at 7:00 p.m. and we counted on this because when we were to cross a certain channel that goes out to the ocean, the tide wouldn't be going out. Well, I somehow mixed up low tide and high tide (though I still believe the website was wrong). So, not only did we run into a bunch a sandbars but for a split second, we lost control of our canoe and I had this very realistic fear that the tide would pull us out into the ocean.
We managed to cross the channel and we beached our canoe on a huge sandbar - it was like our own private island. The sand was white and as soft as silk. We swam around the sandbar for an hour until thunder and lightening told us it was time to go home. I admit that I did get the tides mixed up but it was actually a blessing. If it were high tide, we wouldn't have found a tropical paradise created by God just for us.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Daydreaming on My Staycation
There's nothing like a really fun staycation to help alleviate negativity. Sometimes, you just need to get out and pretend you're on vacation by visitng new places, drinking frozen drinks, watching old horror movies and reading thriller novels. I needed the last couple of days to find my spark again and motivate me to continue moving forward in my life.
Yesterday, my husband and I spent the afternoon in New Smyrna Beach. I had never been there before and it is a very cool beach town. It was extremely hot outside so we didn't explore as much as I would have liked but it was still a very enjoyable day. It reminded me of Old Florida - the Florida I remember as a child. The smell of Coppertone, sunshine and salt water. Colorful buildings, shops that sell items made from shells and coconuts, seafood restaurants that overlook the ocean and families riding beach cruisers up and down the streets. There is a hotel for sale right downtown in the area that is called the Loop. I am fascinated with hotels. One of my dreams is to own and manage a small cozy inn and this one, the Seahorse Inn, was awesome.
My inn would be extremely clean. The kind of clean that smells fresh and makes you instantly relaxed. Each room would be uniquely decorated, stocked with fresh flowers, sunscreen and Keurig coffee makers. The inn would also be pet friendly and I would welcome all pets with a yummy treat. There would be absolutely no smoking in the rooms or even outside on the walkways. My husband and I would be the only ones who worked at the inn and we would live in the apartment above it. I love that feeling you get when you are on vacation and my inn would capture the ambiance of being in a tropical paradise. One day.
Isn't daydreaming the best? It's a great way to think creatively and explore possibilities. Daydreaming is reflecting on the future, on what might be. It can help us transcend negativity and remind us of the good things in life.
Yesterday, my husband and I spent the afternoon in New Smyrna Beach. I had never been there before and it is a very cool beach town. It was extremely hot outside so we didn't explore as much as I would have liked but it was still a very enjoyable day. It reminded me of Old Florida - the Florida I remember as a child. The smell of Coppertone, sunshine and salt water. Colorful buildings, shops that sell items made from shells and coconuts, seafood restaurants that overlook the ocean and families riding beach cruisers up and down the streets. There is a hotel for sale right downtown in the area that is called the Loop. I am fascinated with hotels. One of my dreams is to own and manage a small cozy inn and this one, the Seahorse Inn, was awesome.
My inn would be extremely clean. The kind of clean that smells fresh and makes you instantly relaxed. Each room would be uniquely decorated, stocked with fresh flowers, sunscreen and Keurig coffee makers. The inn would also be pet friendly and I would welcome all pets with a yummy treat. There would be absolutely no smoking in the rooms or even outside on the walkways. My husband and I would be the only ones who worked at the inn and we would live in the apartment above it. I love that feeling you get when you are on vacation and my inn would capture the ambiance of being in a tropical paradise. One day.
Isn't daydreaming the best? It's a great way to think creatively and explore possibilities. Daydreaming is reflecting on the future, on what might be. It can help us transcend negativity and remind us of the good things in life.
"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon
the idle seashore of the mind."
- Henry Wadworth Longfello
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Just Move
I am trying to stay strong in my faith and in believing that God has a plan for me. It has been challenging, though. I feel like shit. There is so much of almost every kind of emotion swirling around me that I don't really know how to deal with any of it. The thing that it causing me to feel guilty is the fact that I am not experiencing any trauma in my life, no one in my family is sick or dying, I'm paying the bills, I live by the beach, I am healthy and I have a good marriage. I know that I have a wonderful life. But still. It is there, lingering beneath the surface of my daily routine: restlessness and confusion and whatever else I'm feeling.
Even though I appreciate my life and all of God's blessings, I cannot help feeling this way. Isn't embracing life about taking in everything? The good and the bad? If I deny what I'm feeling, I won't be able to understand it and I won't be able to change it. Of course, I'd love to be happy all of the time and be grateful every second of every day but this is life and life is messy.
All this negativity that I have been feeling surfaced in my body today. My muscles ache, my chest hurts and I feel. . . activated. It's like a sensory overload and I thought that I was going to go crazy this evening. I didn't know what to do but I needed to do something.
So, I tidied up my bedroom and rolled out my stationary bike. I downloaded a few new songs from iTunes and rode my bike for almost an hour. I created a new playlist titled "Full Moon" (it's July 3 but that is close enough) and turned the music up loud. Loud enough that it not only drowned out the negativity I've been feeling but absorbed it as well. I rode my bike fast and I didn't slow down. Have you ever felt like you just have to move? To express yourself? Scream, sing and cry? Dance, kick and run? Sweat? To feel alive?
We have to let things out and as much as I believe in the process of writing and the practice of reflection, sometimes they just won't do. Sometimes, we need to kick negativity's ass (literally). All of the work that I have been doing to change my life course has kept me at the computer longer than I normally am. It has worn me out so much that I've lost energy and drive. Maybe the physical pain I've been feeling was God's way of waking me up? Maybe He is telling me to balance things in my life? I don't really know for sure but I do sense that something has changed.
When I finished exercising, I put my bike back in its place and listened to the last few songs while practicing yoga. As I laid on the floor, stretching my body and rubbing my dog's ears, I remembered that I have control over the way I feel. If I am feeling like shit, I can do something to change it. Linkin Park helps.
Even though I appreciate my life and all of God's blessings, I cannot help feeling this way. Isn't embracing life about taking in everything? The good and the bad? If I deny what I'm feeling, I won't be able to understand it and I won't be able to change it. Of course, I'd love to be happy all of the time and be grateful every second of every day but this is life and life is messy.
All this negativity that I have been feeling surfaced in my body today. My muscles ache, my chest hurts and I feel. . . activated. It's like a sensory overload and I thought that I was going to go crazy this evening. I didn't know what to do but I needed to do something.
So, I tidied up my bedroom and rolled out my stationary bike. I downloaded a few new songs from iTunes and rode my bike for almost an hour. I created a new playlist titled "Full Moon" (it's July 3 but that is close enough) and turned the music up loud. Loud enough that it not only drowned out the negativity I've been feeling but absorbed it as well. I rode my bike fast and I didn't slow down. Have you ever felt like you just have to move? To express yourself? Scream, sing and cry? Dance, kick and run? Sweat? To feel alive?
We have to let things out and as much as I believe in the process of writing and the practice of reflection, sometimes they just won't do. Sometimes, we need to kick negativity's ass (literally). All of the work that I have been doing to change my life course has kept me at the computer longer than I normally am. It has worn me out so much that I've lost energy and drive. Maybe the physical pain I've been feeling was God's way of waking me up? Maybe He is telling me to balance things in my life? I don't really know for sure but I do sense that something has changed.
When I finished exercising, I put my bike back in its place and listened to the last few songs while practicing yoga. As I laid on the floor, stretching my body and rubbing my dog's ears, I remembered that I have control over the way I feel. If I am feeling like shit, I can do something to change it. Linkin Park helps.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Peace and Quiet
Last Saturday my husband and I took our canoe up the Silver River in Ocala. It was a four hour trip of complete peace and quiet. We could not help repeating to each other how beautiful the river was. I felt like I was on vacation and the warmth of the afternoon kept bringing me back to my childhood. It was one of the most relaxing days I've had in a very long time. I even felt closer to my husband on that trip - if that could even be possible.
We have a trolling motor on our canoe so we didn't even paddle. We just enjoyed the sights, sounds and scents of the forest. We made our way through Silver Springs State Park and into the Silver Springs theme park. I've visited this park twice and I just love it. It reminds me of an amusement park from the 1950's. When I'm walking through the park or riding on one of the glass bottom boats, I feel like I might run into the Brady family.
The canoe trip was so awesome. It is difficult to describe the beauty of the river. Sometimes, words just do not suffice so here are a few photographs:
We have a trolling motor on our canoe so we didn't even paddle. We just enjoyed the sights, sounds and scents of the forest. We made our way through Silver Springs State Park and into the Silver Springs theme park. I've visited this park twice and I just love it. It reminds me of an amusement park from the 1950's. When I'm walking through the park or riding on one of the glass bottom boats, I feel like I might run into the Brady family.
The canoe trip was so awesome. It is difficult to describe the beauty of the river. Sometimes, words just do not suffice so here are a few photographs:
 |
| The water is so pure that you can see the bottom - up to 30 feet below. |
 |
| Red Belly and Yellow Belly turtles bask in the sun along the river banks. |
 |
| The river draws you into its magic. |
 |
| A White Ibis. |
 |
| The water from the springs is 99% pure. |
 |
| One of God's amazing creatures. |
 |
| Complete peacefulness. |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)