Friday, January 6, 2012

Crunchy Feelings & a Happy Place

I hate feeling crunchy.  Just hate it.  Crunchy is how I describe feeling a bunch of emotions at the same time: upset, jealous, disappointed, sad, anxious and whatever other negative emotions might transpire.  I was feeling crunchy last night.  Work is insane and I feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed out.  My head spins when life gets this busy and I have difficulty putting things into perspective.  I stopped by Target on my way home and ran into a colleague.  The conversation left me feeling really crunchy.  When I got home I drank some wine, ate pasta, watched a movie and went to bed.  I woke up at 3:00 in the morning and just could not sleep.  I had too much on my mind.  I needed to define and work through my crunchy feelings. 

After reflecting on the conversation I had at Target, I realized that I felt jealous and angry.  I felt jealous because I was being egocentric and I felt angry because a decision was made about my mentee and no one consulted me.  I came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how I feel.  The decision will benefit my mentee and he is who I should be thinking about, not myself.  The other part of my crunchiness stems from feeling like I have to be superwoman at work.  There is so much to accomplish and there just isn't enough time.  I cannot do it all and I need to remember that work will never end.  That's why it is called work.   

There are two things that have brought me back to a happy place - prayer and the Golden Girls.  Through prayer, God has comforted me and put things into perspective.  If I'm not in control of something and it is good, I should just be grateful.  God also reminded me that worrying will not accomplish anything - it is completely useless.  Life is too short for worry.  After I prayed, I put in the Golden Girls.  I don't know what it is about them but they always alleviate my crunchy feelings and make me happy.  This morning, I'm thankful for both prayer and the Golden Girls.                        

3 comments:

  1. I call your 3:00 awakening retracing my steps. I get bothered about something and it changes my whole mindset. I think I'm ok but not. Then, I have to walk backwards in my mind to find out what exactly was bugging me and deal with it. I pray pray pray too. With God's comfort and "Hazel" (my comfort DVD) I feel much better.

    Great post.

    Teresa

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  2. God and the Golden Girls got me through an unscheduled six week stay in the hospital.

    Love your blog!

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  3. Thanks, John. I really enjoy your blog as well - very creative titled & a great way to see the positive in any situation.

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