I hate feeling crunchy. Just hate it. Crunchy is how I describe feeling a bunch of emotions at the same time: upset, jealous, disappointed, sad, anxious and whatever other negative emotions might transpire. I was feeling crunchy last night. Work is insane and I feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed out. My head spins when life gets this busy and I have difficulty putting things into perspective. I stopped by Target on my way home and ran into a colleague. The conversation left me feeling really crunchy. When I got home I drank some wine, ate pasta, watched a movie and went to bed. I woke up at 3:00 in the morning and just could not sleep. I had too much on my mind. I needed to define and work through my crunchy feelings.
After reflecting on the conversation I had at Target, I realized that I felt jealous and angry. I felt jealous because I was being egocentric and I felt angry because a decision was made about my mentee and no one consulted me. I came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how I feel. The decision will benefit my mentee and he is who I should be thinking about, not myself. The other part of my crunchiness stems from feeling like I have to be superwoman at work. There is so much to accomplish and there just isn't enough time. I cannot do it all and I need to remember that work will never end. That's why it is called work.
There are two things that have brought me back to a happy place - prayer and the Golden Girls. Through prayer, God has comforted me and put things into perspective. If I'm not in control of something and it is good, I should just be grateful. God also reminded me that worrying will not accomplish anything - it is completely useless. Life is too short for worry. After I prayed, I put in the Golden Girls. I don't know what it is about them but they always alleviate my crunchy feelings and make me happy. This morning, I'm thankful for both prayer and the Golden Girls.