Starting Over

There are phases with anything in life:  relationships, new projects, careers, life transitions, health, creativity, families.  I've been in a down phase lately.  I haven't been cognizant about my eating or tracking my nutritional intake.  I am so exhausted when I get home from work that I don't feel like exercising.  In the evenings, it has been way too easy to choose watching movies and drinking wine over walking and doing something productive.  Also, I haven't been in the mood to write or practice photography.  I sort of lost my urge for creativity and I guess I just really needed a break.  What bothers me the most is that I have not made time for God in a while.  You know, that special one-on-one time.  I'm not sure why I've been in this phase and I don't want to analyze the reasons or dwell upon my feelings of laziness and need to escape.  I just want to start over.

This isn't my photo.  It just really captured how I'm feeling.

One way I start over is to mentally prepare for a new journey.  I envision the big picture:  my favorite dress hanging in my closet that I will wear again one day (without Spanx), my book that I will hold in my hands and admire the beautiful cover that I've already created in my mind, seeing my photography hanging on the walls of a funky art gallery, the child that I hope to raise with my husband, being so confident in my faith that I can actually voice how amazing God is to other people.  I think of all the things I want to do with my life and I get so excited that I just cannot sit still.   

Another way I start over is by creating an environment which is conducive to creativity, intentionality and positive energy.  When my home is perfectly cleaned and organized, my mind is free from clutter and open to new adventures.  I'm not thinking about the closet that could use organizing or the carpet that needs cleaning because I've recently completed a thorough house cleaning.  Now, I can lay my yoga mat down at any point during the day and take a few moments to connect with myself, God and the many blessings in my life without worrying about things that need to be done around the house. 

The last way I start over is by jumping into action:  I just do the things I want to do.  For example, I'm writing right now.  I just did the dishes from the night before so my kitchen is clean.  It is beautiful out today so I will be going for a walk after I practice yoga.  I've started tracking my nutritional content with My Fitness Pal again.  My stationary bike is ready for its next journey.  God is waiting for me.  Thankfully, he understands my down phases.  I've started working on my photography again and, for the very first time, am working from raw photos.  This is a new concept to me and I'm a little intimidated but I'm also very ready to take my art to the next level.  I will be using the 2013 A to Z Challenge to jump start the next stage of my art so that I am incorporating intentionality, technical aspects, creativity and authenticity in my photography.

I don't want to feel guilty about my down phase.  I want to embrace it and use it as a catalyst for change.  These moments remind me of what is important in life and what kind of person I want to be.  Even if I can't be her 24 hours a day, I will continue trying until I take my last breath. 

Cheers to starting over.